OfficialDumbass.com
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Burglar gets stuck in window, calls police
SWINDON, England (AP) - A man's SOS to police when he got stuck in a window proved costly after he was arrested for burglary.
Christopher Kelman, 34, admitted Tuesday in Swindon Magistrates Court that he had robbed a snack bar at the railway station in Didcot in January.
Having consumed three bottles and three cans of beer, Kelman tried to escape through a window which proved too small, prosecutor Nadeem Aullybocus said.
After getting stuck, Kelman phoned police for help. Police also summoned the snack bar manager, who reported the missing alcohol.
Kelman was fined the equivalent of about $950 Cdn, and ordered to pay $27 in compensation and $125 in court costs, for a total of about $1,100.
Source: AP
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Man crashes into DMV and renews license
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - A man drove his car into a wall at the Division of Motor Vehicles building, then walked in and renewed his driver's licence, police say.
Police believe the man was driving while impaired on medication and charged him with driving under the influence. No one was injured.
The man's car went up over a sidewalk Thursday, denting the building's metal siding, cracking the inside of the wall and startling workers sitting nearby in the agency's accounting department.
"I saw the guy back up, get out of his car and walk into the DMV like nothing happened," said agency employee Michelle Steinman.
No one in the public area of the licence agency noticed the accident. Workers in accounting notified higher-ups and pointed out the driver, who had taken a number, apologizing to a clerk that he had "tapped" the building.
By the time police arrived, the man had paid the equivalent of $25 Cdn and renewed his licence.
Source: AP
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Outlaw blows himself up
TIRANA (Reuters) - Albania's most wanted man fought off special police and eluded capture for years only to blow himself up while fishing with dynamite, police and newspapers say.
Dubbed the "Last Cowboy" in northern Albania because of his gunfights with the law, Riza Malaj, 34, failed to accurately gauge the length of the fuse as he tried to blow up trout.
Doctors at the Bajram Curri hospital said he had lost both hands, badly hurt his eyes and suffered serious wounds all over his body. His family rejected offers to have him flown to a Tirana hospital where he would have been arrested immediately.
Malaj was taken to a hospital in nearby U.N.-governed Kosovo.
He was sentenced in absentia to five years in jail on charges of leading an attack on the Bajram Curri police station last year. Since 2000, warrants have been issued for Malaj's arrest on charges of willful murder, armed robbery, armed assault and battery of the education directress of the town.
Source: Reuters UK
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